Book and Profile
How to Find Your Lost Balls
Golf, a nice walk spoiled by chasing a little white ball. This heavily illustrated, side splitting, often sexually suggestive humour book will leave you with top ten lists, quizzes, jokes, lot and lots of cartoons, and a totally new perspective on the “game of kings” who are looking to find their lost balls.
Strangely enough I didn't hit a golf ball until I was well into my 20's and I did it from a tennis court. I was the resident tennis pro at a lavish golf and country club just outside Toronto, Ontario. Errant golf balls from a nearby hole would occasionally find their way onto my tennis court, usually in the middle of a lesson. One day a member, retrieving his ball, asked me if I wanted to hit it towards the flag, which was about 150 yards away. I thought what the heck and dropped the ball just outside the court onto the grass. I took a swing with his 7 iron and rattled it off the pin with the ball coming to rest just a few inches from the hole (true story). I handed him back his club and continued with my tennis. I'd like to think that that day I became a local legend, at least at that golf course.
I thought it was best to never pick up a golf club again and didn't until about another 20 years later. I've never hit a shot that well since but when I got properly introduced to the game in my early 40's, I became immediately hooked (not to mention most of my shots hook). None of this of course makes me a golf expert which is exactly why I wrote this book. Who needs another experts book? This book is for the common man, just out looking for his balls.
That 20 years between golf swings by the way was spent, among other things, as a professional cartoonist and humour columnist. Thousands of my cartoons have been published in quite a variety of magazines, newspapers, books, websites and more. I have two other humour books in various stages of completion, one on motorcycle culture called, 'Bad Ass Biker' and the other one on relationships (well sort of), 'How to Bag a Cougar, a Guide To Dating Older Women'. My longest publishing relationship is with the American Nudist Association. I've done their cartoons, illustrations and humour columns for almost 20 years. Who knew nudists found themselves so entertaining (they must look in the mirror a lot).
There was some other stuff along the way, like kids and a wife (not in that order) but they're not likely to ever read this, so the heck with them, let's get back to me.
I was the largest baby ever born at the hospital of my birth. The record has probably been broken since, but at the time 23 pounds was a big baby. Just kidding, I was 10 lbs. 11 ounces, but that's still a whopper. I went to school, got a couple of degrees, had some jobs, got a family, a house , a mortgage and voila!, here I am. Gee, that's kind of sobering to think my whole life story comes down to a couple of paragraphs. Check back with me in 20 years, I'll have done some more stuff by then.